I keep finding a lot of sayings I used to use in reports and letters when I worked as a Constituent Affairs Officer for four different Utah Governors. Three of the Four didn't really like the way I wrote things, but none of them fired me and so they let me be me. I saved some and may have already used some in prior chapters, so that must mean it is double important for you! Many a year ago, I did a little graduate work at a Utah University. I now copy some examples of Communication Breakdowns, and regardless of how smart we think we are, many of us still don't realize we haven't explained the problem good enough. These are sentences from a Welfare office provided by the Graduate School of Library from the University of Pittsburgh. Snicker if you will, but these applications for support are real.
1. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I have seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
2. I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money.
3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been regularly visited by the clergy for a year.
4. I can't get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell my why?
5. I am glad to report that my husband, who has been missing is dead.
6. This is my eight child. What are you going to do about it?
7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he finds out for sure.
8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
10. I am forwarding my marriage corticate and 3 children, one of which is a mistake, as you can see.
11. My husband got his project cut off 2 weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
12. Unless I get my husbands money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life.
13. You have changed by little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference to my pay?
14, I have no children as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night.
15. In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
16. I want my money as quick as I can get it. I've been in bed with the Doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me much good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another Doctor. Will you pay for that?
And you all thought you had it bad?
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