THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUNNY CARD, TIL IT COMES TO YOU

This is supposed to be a funny birthday card, but if send it to a family antique, it took my faded memory back to the time when I was trying to teach my nephew how to pull weeds, just like Alice P. McCune taught me in the 1950's. I hated cleaning her beautiful rose garden, as it was irrigation water which had a lot of weeds in the furrows. I had respect for her though, as she was a woman before her time, writing the first book about Juab County when she was in her 90's, and interviewed many of the people in the book, including my Grandfather, so her facts were good. But those dan......g roses had gigantic thorns on them, and this poor, frail 10 year no-account was soon taught by example! She was in a long beautiful dress, and pretty enough to come to my funeral, as I feared that. She got on her knees with no gloves and short sleeves on her dress, and pulled the weeds, not a whimper from her while her arms were bleeding worse that when Joe Garrett came across the street to help me "cut" our Weiner pigs. And when she did a row, she calmly stood up, handed me the small shovel, and just matter of fact said "that's how you take care of the weeds" and I stood "All Amazed" as it was beautiful and I lived to tell of that true tale. So to my nephew-Jarett, he should dam well know that his birthday is long before this old geezer and besides he recently became the father of a real "Beautiful Baby Girl" and it is he should be saying happy fatherhood to himself. And another thing dam it.....I wouldn't have to pick my nose if those dam kids by the cemetery wouldn't throw rocks at me, one hitting my ear, and pushed the dam hearing aid in my nose. And by the way I wouldn't have to drink beer if they would quit reducing my Social Security money as I payed into it since childhood... And I don't pass gas, it is that dam dog, or is it the horse that Tyson Garrett tied to my door. And yea, I do have leaky pipes. One of these days I will get in door plumbing and buy real toilet paper instead of Saran Wrap! Happy Trails.