It appears we haven't put in a "Nusense" chapter on since April, 2022, so time for a list of facts that I came upon in my boxes of stuff, and no particular order. From what I can determine, the list is made up of actual Facts! But remember, my viewpoint of Facts may be different from yours. After all, my great Uncle is Hy Tolley, whose dry Juab County humor has been going strong for the past hundred years. I wish to thank my father for having me walk down the path a block north of where I grew up to meet Uncle Hy. when I was 5 years old. He lived in a Nephi home where Verizon is now, two doors away from his daughter-Ruth Zabriskie. Here are some of his "fact" type humor.
1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(Hardly seems worth it, even though I love coffee).
2. If you pass gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, you will have produced enough energy for an atomic bomb.(Now that is more like it).
3. A pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.(In our next life, may we all be a pig).
4. Banging your head against the wall uses 150 calories an hour.(Still not over the pig thing).
5. Humans and Dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And why isn't the pig included, as Uncle Hy had pigs in Nortonville).
6. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. (Yup, and some of us believe the same about mice and snakes).
7. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hummmmmmm).
8. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. ( I hunted Crocks outside New Orleans but had no interest in peering at their tongue-sooner take death, as I know that is better).
9. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight; can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.(From drinking little bottles? Was it government funded?)
10. Polar Bears are left handed.( Who knew and Who Cares? Another government grant?)
11. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. (Its like a human jumping the length of the old Juab HIgh Football Field).
12. A cockroach(should I used capitol letters on that?) will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death).
13. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.(Honey, I'm home. what the .....").
14. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.(In my next life, I still want to be a pig...quality over quantity).
15. Butterflies taste with their feet. (and Butterflies are Free).
16. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.(Uncle Hy said neither can Antelope).
17. An Ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.(I knew a Nephi High classmate like that).
18. Starfish don't have brains.(Same as Number 17).
And remember what Uncle Hy taught....Humor and Music is about the only things that people from all over the world can understand. (As long as you smile and play the organ correctly).
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