NUSENSE-CHAPTER NINE.

 I have found it is difficult to keep track of all the nonsensible writings I have put down over the years, so if I have duplicated some of them, you can laugh or giggle twice.

These are suggestions on how to speak to a woman and be politically correct.

101. She is not a BABE or a CHICK, she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

102. She is not a SCEAMER or a MOANER, she is VERBARALLY APPRECIATIVE

103. She is not EASY, she is HORIZONANALLY  ACCESSIBLE.

104. She is not dumb, she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY

105. She has not BEEN AROUND, SHE IS A PRVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANIONS

106. She is NOT AN AIRHEAD, SHE IS REALITY IMPAIRED

107. She does not GET DRUNK OR TIPSY. SHE GETS REALITY IMPAIRED

108. She Is NOT HORNY, SHE GETS SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

109. She does not get BREAST IMPLANTS, SHE IS MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

110. She does not nag you, SHE GETS ORALLY REPETITIVE         

AND  FOR THE MEN:

111.Seeing other people as the problem-is the problem.

112. Don't panic if someday they say you have a beer gut. To me, it is my liquid grain storage facility.

113. Regardless of how dark life may become, always remember it is the darkest just before daylight              savings time.

114. Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry........and you have to blow your nose.

115. Culture, Class, Chaos. They are in your DNA. You figure out when to use them-and when to cut               them off at the pass.      

116. For your kids-choose which to be-their hero or villan; their ruler;  their friend or parent..

117. You are smarter than than your kids; they they will be smarter than you; then you will be smarter            than them.  But always remember, your wife will always be the most smart.

118. The only things we can keep are the things we freely give. What we try to keep for ourselves is              just what we are sure to lose.     

119. And our last point is.....Life on earth will eventually end. Time is short. Each of us have                          passengers from time to time, but in reality, we travel alone. No one gets out alive or can keep us            safe all the time. There are parts of our personalities we cannot change or ignore, even when the              price of separation and loss. Eventually, we can find unity, but only within ourselves.