NUSENSE-CHAPTER FIVE

Well, I hope you are all making no sense of this as I ain't either but it is making me smile. Over the years, I have kept stuffing these sort of funnies in. They are some of my own brain or no brain workings or just what I heard or read somewhere, so anybody can take the credit unless I know who done did wrote them. I try to burn them in my fireplace so I don't repeat them. Today I will wander a little and call them "Ponderings", but hope it doesn't keep you up at night.

36. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

37. Life is sexually transmitted.

38. Health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

39. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an arousal, make him a                    sandwich.       

40. Give a person a fish and you feed em for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they wont              bother you for two weeks. 

41.Some people are like Slinkees....not really good for anything, but you still smile when you see one          tumble down the stairs.            

42. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

43. Whenever I started feeling blue, I then start breathing again, as you should. Feeling blue is normal.

44. All of us could pay attention to the weather forecast, but why should we, it pays no attention to us.

45. Why does a slight tax increase in property tax cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you 20         cents?     

46,  In the 1960's, people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world looks weird and                 people take Prozac to make it normal.

47.  Politics is supposed to be the worlds second oldest profession. After being in politics, I find it                  interesting that it has a spelling close to the oldest profession and it that one pays dividend's until            you die, but on the other hand I guess he second one can kill you too....with a pan after you tell              your wife.     

Okay, my fire is dying so I will throw this paper away so I don't repeat in future "Ponderings" and in fact some of you parents may do that now, before the youngins starting asking questions.